Little Brown Mouse

Jenny you were in my heart..

Jenny, little jenny
so lost and all alone,
Came to me one afternoon
and told me she wanted to go home.

I sat with Jenny for a while
and told her that here should would be safe,
She told me that noone came to visit her,
that she was scared and had lost her faith.

She held my hand and stroked it
as if it gave her some comfort and some calm
Just talking to me appeared to have the effect
of removing her feeling of alarm

Jenny in her light cotton nightie
and feet always bare.
Had short brown hair the colour of caramel,
and shuffled from here to there.

With her head bowed low and pixie looks
she reminded me of a timid mouse,
I wondered who her family was,
had they forgotten her but meanwhile kept her house?

She never spoke much to me,
except for that one afternoon,
She said she was scared of what would happen to her
if I should depart too soon.

She didn’t know who these people were
and she saw some were locked in chairs,
Some would scream and yell
whilst others sat dribbling and moaning,
many with vacant stares.

She said she’d seen me come and go,
nearly everyday,
She asked me if I would keep watch over her,
to keep the evils at bay.

She said my she envied my father
to have a visitor so often .
She asked if I could spare some time for her,
my heart could not but soften,

I said I would as best I could
but I was afraid that my Dad would take my attention,
She said that was okay just one look from me
would suffice to ease her apprehension.

And so we had a funny little relationship
where we’d exchange looks each time,
In return I’d get her grin to show me
that she knew I cared & that she was fine.

But then there were days
that she looked no more
and I instead was waylaid,
Dad became my focus again
and my chat with Jenny did fade.

This past week Dad has been ill
and my heart was full of dread,
He looked lost and in despair,
and until today could not escape his bed.

I didn’t look for Jenny
while Dad had been so sick
But then I read on the notices today
that I had missed a nasty trick.

I read it once and paused in shock,
Jenny B......... 12 October, 2005.
It couldn’t be my Jenny,
surely Jenny my Jenny was still alive?

But then I realized I’d let her down,
I hadn’t done what I said,
When I hadn’t seen her,
I assumed she was just absent,
I didn’t think she’d be dead.

So Jenny I am writing this,
a poem not very good,
I wanted to do in death for you,
what in life I should,

I wanted the world to know
that Jenny was a beautiful lady
who deserved so much more,
Who gracefully and quietly fought alone with dignity,
this evil dementia war.

Rest in Peace Jenny, do not fear
I will always remember you.
If your family did visit when I wasn’t there,
they will miss you too.

(N.S.)
Written October 2005